How do you want to use me?

It has been about three weeks since we found out that Jesus is giving us the amazing gift of twin boys. We are continually becoming more and more excited! The shock of it all has subsided and we are filled with anticipation and wonder.

For me, the idea of twins is like a new challenge that calls for preparation, training, and forethought. However, at first I was filled with worry. I wasn’t worried about life with twins outside the womb, but with twins inside the womb and how the remaining months of my pregnancy would play out. Will I carry them to full term? Will I need to have a c-section? Can I still have a natural, drug free birth? Will the twins need to stay in the NICU for a little (or long) while? These were some of the questions that were swirling through my mind.

One early morning as I sat spending time with Jesus, He calmed my soul and reassured me of His plan. He didn’t tell me that I would carry to full term, have a natural birth, and bring the babies home the next day. Rather, He asked me if I was willing to be used for HIS glory and purpose no matter the outcome. Would I be willing to spend 3 months at the hospital with babies in the NICU if He had a greater purpose in store? Would I trust Him to use me to bring glory to His name and let that be the focus, rather than worrying about all the details and what ifs? Would I?

After that sweet morning with Jesus, I had a renewed sense of purpose. I was ready to be used by the maker of the universe and bring glory to Him, no matter the cost. Whatever He wants to do with me, I am ready. Whatever He has purposed for these twin boys, I am willing to trust Him. The focus isn’t on having the perfect twin birth at the perfect time, but rather allowing Jesus to work through me to bring glory to His name. If He wants us in the NICU to share Him there and encourage those around us… then we are ready. Whatever He wants to do with us, we are His vessels ready to be used.

In other news, the preparation for twins boys is coming along nicely in the Brooks household. Titus is on his way to being potty trained with week 1 with no diapers under his belt. We cleaned out the garage to make room for all of the diapers and equipment that we will be storing for the next few months and made a binder with all of the freezer meals and shopping lists that we want to make before the boys arrive. And of course, we are cruising the internet for great deals on second hand twin baby gear that will be of great use. 🙂 We are on a super fun adventure and loving it!IMG_0628


One response to “How do you want to use me?

  1. One of the many things I love about this journey with Jesus is how as we walk along with Him, He asks us for more of us. The reason it is not the hardest choice in the world for me is because every time He has asked me to give Him part of me and I have done it, He has amazed me with giving me something in return I couldn’t even imagine, and at times, didn’t know I even desired. You probably didn’t know you wanted twin little boys, but when they are here, I bet you will realize God knew exactly the right gift for your family:)

    To your concerns at the beginning I would say that there is something very rich that I have learned in the valleys in my life that I didn’t learn on the mountaintops. When I lost our 4th baby, God let me see how He was preparing me leading up to that time to minister to every person I encountered during that very sorrow-filled season. Even at the memorial service, multiple people came to me to say they had lost babies and never were allowed to openly mourn. They felt we offered them a place to do that because I asked our pastor to make it for anyone who had lost a baby to have a safe place to grieve. Over the next six years, I lost three more babies, and God taught me that just because the world might call me one thing (barren,) I was to only believe what He said about me (fruitful!) I am who He says I am!

    Not only that, He kept putting people in my path who wanted to have children and were unable. I began to pray with them through that 7-year season, and I now have 6 friends who have 7 babies that I helped pray to be conceived. There is something very rich in the first-hand knowledge that God knows how to turn disappointments and sorrows into something that can bring glory to Him and also bless me in the process.

    Kimberlee, I know you have enough history with God, and I hear it in your post, that you know Him intimately and have a pretty good idea that He extravagantly loves you and your family. I can also say from experience that you are exactly right in what you are communicating in this message: God will give you exactly what you need at the time you need it, and if you do have anything of those things come to pass, He won’t waste any complication or pain or suffering that you go through.

    He made you for this: You are His masterpiece, a woman of God who gets to walk in the authority and anointing as a child of the Most High God to bring His Kingdom here on earth, whether that is in your home, the park with Titus, the grocery store, or the NICU.
    You are blessed and highly favored and I love you. Thanks for sharing.

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